well, this could be the relay or it could be the fuel pump. u can troubleshoot it with a 12 volt test lite, volt meter or dvom. the trick is to catch it when it wont start.
unplug the connector at the fuel pump and probe the gray wire in the harness. have a helper turn the key on. u should get 12 volts for a couple seconds, then nothing. with the engine cranking u should allso get 12 volts. if your getting power here, plug the connector back in and have your helper turn the key on again. if theres no sound of the pump running, use a ohm meter or dvom to check the ground on the black wire in the connector. if your getting power and know u got a good ground but the pump dont work, the pump is bad.
if there aint power here, plug the connector back in and take out the fuel pump relay. on the side youll see numbers for the female terminals in the relay block. take a short piece of wire and jump between terminals 87 and 30 in the relay block. turn the key on. if the pump runs, but it dont run when u put the relay back in, the relay is bad.
u could allso see if theres another relay with the same terminal layout as the fuel pump relay and swap them. if the pump works, that means the relay is bad. or u could take a chance and just replace the relay since its a cheap part. but troubleshooting it like i described is a better way to pinpoint the bad part, since swapping or replacing the relay wont tell u nothing if the pump is the problem. and i agree with u, u dont wanna replace the fuel pump without knowing if its bad.